Quotes on Marriage

I recently read that love is entirely matter of Chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

- David Bissonette -

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge then to let him keep her.

- Sacha Guitry -

After marriage, husband and wife becomes two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but they still stay together.

- Hemant Joshi -

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates -

Women inspire us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

- Dumas -

The great question which I wasn't able to answer is "What does a women want?"

- Sigmund Freud -

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

- Anonymous -

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight dinner, soft music and dancing.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

- Henry Youngman -

I don't worry about terrorism, I was married for 20 years.

- Sam Kinison -

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

- James Holt McGavran -

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left and the second one didn't.

- Patrick Murray -

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming.

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it.

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

- Nash -

The most effective way to remember your wive's birthday is just to forget it once.

- Anonymous -

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

- Henny Youngman -

My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met.

- Rodney Dangerfield -

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

- Milton Berle -

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

- Anonymous -

A man inserted an ad in the classified: "Wife wanted."

Next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

- Anonymous -

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second guy: "You're lucky, mine still alive."

- Anonymous -

Nice to see, nice to hold.

Once poked, considered yours.

- Chang Chew Soon -